By
MICHAEL W. MILLER
Staff Reporter of THE WALL
STREET
JOURNAL
WARRENVILLE,
IL
Robert
Bulmash lives on a quiet
suburban street with a dog, a framed picture of Frankenstein and a
phone that doesn't get many sales calls. When it does, he is
unfailingly polite.
"Well, this certainly is a coincidence," he typically begins, "I was
just about to go out and find a subscription card for that very
magazine! ... Say, are you with a telemarketing firm? Which one
is that, anyway? ... Great! Listen, you did a fantastic job
marketing me where can I send your supervisor a
note?"
It sounds like a telemarketer's dream. In fact, Mr. Bulmash is the
telemarketing industry's worst nightmare. He and a small army of
followers, fed up with the modern epidemic of junk calls, are fighting
back. Their motto Is "Leave Us Alone or Pay the Price!"
Their strategy. is mischievous, ruthless and surprisingly effective.
Fee for Phoning
Mr. Bulmash instructs the 550 members of his group, Private Citizen
Inc., to answer junk calls cordially and tease out all the Information
they can about the Identity and location of the "junker". Then
twice a year, he sends a notice to more than 800 telemarketing
companies, with a list of his members and a warning on their behalf:
"I am unwilling to
allow your free use of my time and
telephone.... I will accept junk calls for a $100 fee, due
within 30
days of such use.... Your junk call will constitute your agreement to
the reasonableness of my fee."
This may sound as preposterous as billing a mosquito for biting
you. But it's a potent repellent. Private Citizen members,
who pay $20 a year for the service, say their junk calls drop 75% or
more. As for the "invoice", it has left Sears, Roebuck & Co.,
ChemLawn, and a handful of other telemarketers so bemused they've
actually coughed up the $100. Others, though not all, have had it
dragged out of them In court. "I was called twice during
yesterday's football game by people like you," said one small
claims judge as he cheerfully ruled against Plano-Soft Water
Conditioning Co.
The leader of this rebellion is an intense 45-year old paralegal
with the flair of an angry standup comic. Unwilling to pay
extra for an unlisted number, he lists his phone under the name "No
Solicitation Stuart." He once stood outside a telemarketing
convention serving a protest "Junk Food Feast" of Twinkles and Ding
Dongs. "If the junk callers insist on being referred to as
'telemarketers', we'll Insist on referring to the Twinkles as 'green
leafy vegetables', he declared in a flier.
His little war, run out of his home in his spare time, has stirred up
the giant telemarketing industry, where mention of the name Bulmash
draws shudders of disgust.
Everyone In the industry knows Bob Bulmash," sighs Kenneth Griffin, an
American Telephone & Telegraph Co. official and past head of the
American Telemarketing Association. He worries that the Bulmash
crusade will "regulate us and put us out of business", and adds: "I'm
sorry; but we're going to defend ourselves." (In fact AT&T
right now is defending itself against a $100 claim from Mr. Bulmash.)
At the other end of the telemarketing line, Mr.
Bulmash is a
hero. "Thanks for taking on the greatest annoyance to man since
the invention of the housefly!" wrote a grateful Oregon woman who read
about him in a local newspaper.
"I've gotten out of showers, off ladders, out from under my car,
off the pot," declared a fan from Skokie, IL. "You name it and
one of these dunderheads has compromised me, and I want to get even."
Every day, it seems, the Bulmash backlash gains a new
ally. Peter
Novosel, a Lancaster, PA doctor, was recently at the bedside of a
patient who had just died, surrounded by
|
bereaved family members,
when
his pocket voicepager suddenly blasted a recorded sweepstakes
spiel into the room. ''It could not have been a more obnoxious
intrusion," he says.
Kay Bryson, a property manager in Mentor on the Lake,
Ohio, wrote Mr. Bulmash to complain about a spate of "ridiculous''
phone surveys, including one from a cosmetics company that wanted to
know how long, her toenails were and which toenail was the longest. An
infuriated Chicago woman wrote him to describe coming home from a
Christmas vacation and finding that an out of control
autodialer had hogged her entire answering machine tape with the
same message 18 times over.
Statistical research supports these anecdotes. In a 1990 national
survey of telemarketing targets, 70% said they consider such calls an
"invasion of privacy." Walker Research Inc. of Indianapolis conducted
the survey via, of all things, random calls to U.S. telephone
numbers. The survey also found that 44% of the targets considered
their last telemarketing call pleasant," and 41% think telemarketing
serves a "useful purpose."
All these calls are coming from an exploding industry with an awesome
arsenal of new technology. American companies will spend an
estimated $60 billion on telemarketing this year, up from $1 billion in
1981, says the industry association.
One especially popular purchase, all too familiar to households, is the
"adramp," short for automatic dialing recorded message player. It
courses like a virus through the phone system, blaring its come on
to one number after another in sequence.
Another hot new weapon is the "predictive dialer," which speed
dials one number after another, sending to live agents only to
those who answer the phone.
Lawmakers are starting to worry about this calling frenzy. A
proposed federal law would create a national list of people who don't
want junk calls, and make it illegal to telemarket them. States
have also introduced some 300 bills this year curbing unsolicited sales
calls.
But for now, people must dream up their own defense tactics.
After running Private Citizen for three years, Mr. Bulmash has heard
from telemarketing targets who have feigned massive hiccup seizures
pretended to be on a runway amidst jet engine noises, cried "He
just died and I'm very upset!" or said, "Just a minute, talk to my
wife," and then passed the phone to the family poodle.
The Bulmash method works better. Private Citizen member Andrew
Greatrex, a Maplewood NJ, banker, billed his lawn care company $100
last fall after it called him repeatedly to offer him extra
services. A few months later, he received an apologetic note from
the company, ChemLawn Services Corp., agreeing to send the $100.
Just before the check arrived, Mr. Greatrex got yet another sales call
from ChemLawn. "I wrote them a letter saying, 'Thanks for the check,
you owe me another $100 " he says. To his delight, ChemLawn agreed to
knock $100 off its next annual lawn care bill.
Beyond the world of hassled lawn managers, many lawyers suspect the
Private Citizen "contract" wouldn't stand up to strict legal
scrutiny. Metropolitan Life Insurance Co., sued for $100 by Mr.
Bulmash, produced a 10 page brief crammed with citations of
precedent to argue that the Bulmash scheme doesn't create a legal
contract. An Illinois small claims judge ruled for the
insurance company. Mr. Bulmash says that's the only time his contract
made it to court and failed.
Still, the System's logic has Its adherents even among
telemarketers. Seafirst Bank, based in Seattle, was one
telemarketer that received the Private Citizen warning letter.
Its senior counsel, William Resnik, wrote back that the bank would be
"pleased'' to discuss the matter with Mr. Bulmash, for $150 per
contact, plus attorneys' fees. "Any further communications from
you in this regard will constitute acceptance of this offer," he added. |